Letter to my alienated daughter who turns 21 tomorrow

Darling B,
The eyes are the windows to the soul, the twinkle and sparkle has returned to mine, like many other women who escape abuse. You will too someday get that sparkle back in your eyes darling, when you are free and not under control.  You will be the daughter I raised to paint in the rain on the driveway, and not be yelled at everyday for not being normal. Think very hard,  Who planned all of your birthday parties? Who planned the big blowout sweet 16 birthday party for you at the Ritz? Who hand sewed crystals on your prom dress?  Who took you and your 6 other friends to your prom?  Who always took care of everything and planned and did everything for you? Who was the only caregiver who unconditionally loved you no matter what?  Who took the care and time to make completely separate meals for you because you would not eat anything with a face?  Who came into my room after the third time your godly father left us, who said that nothing had really changed, he was never there anymore for any of us anyway.  It is great and wonderful that when you were asked the same questions in court under oath that you lied, lied, lied and would never look me in the eyes.
Who was the one who was so angry and mad at your father who created the devious undermining of my parental respect that you assaulted me not once but twice?  It was he who destroyed our family for his own selfishness not the best interests of his children or breast cancer wife. I gave and gave until I could give no more.  I would not have survived if I had continued to be in the toxic relationship of batterer, controlling, violent abuser.. I had to take care of myself, despite my pleas and cries of help from all of my daughters after your father left.  Your grandparents came to the house to help out due to the fact that he disabled me and I was still having three additional surgeries for breast cancer complications.
It didn't matter to you all that I was incapacitated by your father's hands even with you all seeing the bruises and welts, you still would not accept that your father could do such a horrid thing to your mother, as he had been doing for years. The disrespect continued as you and your younger sister assaulted me, learning from his wonderful example of hitting, kicking, smacking, pushing, shoving, etc. all started after my 11th surgery for complications of chemo.. You all were a danger to me as was your father.  You are after all a black belt in karate and I was afraid of you in my weakened condition from chemo and your father's disabling assault.  When you want to accept the facts of his abuse and are out on your own, you will realize the truth of my words.  It was mortifying to me to hear my daughter whom I raised to always tell the truth to lie for daddy on the stand so he would get all of our money.  You could not look me in the eyes, you knew you could not lie to my face.  Your lying attorney dad prompted you well.  Your mother after all never did or gave you anything and always cared about herself first.. Really????
Your teachers, friends' parents, nannies, haircutters, grandparents, and all the other people I took you all to all of your activities, knew the kind of mother I was.  Selfless and my world revolved around my four girls.  Even during your mission trip, because I was too sick to go with you, everyone saw what kind of a player, obnoxious, lazy, hitting on the other moms, your father was.  It is a sick world that he and mr uncle L lived in, one I did not want you all to be a part of.  It was forced on me and I tried to hide that sleazy sick world from you all.  I guess I did too good of a job of hiding the violent abuse from you all to protect you and the image of the American family. My bad.
People are disgusted by his actions and  his selfish destruction of our family.  They knew and witnessed the real monster and were afraid of him.  These people have come out of the woodworks now revealing they knew the evil he was capable of and his obsession with the almighty dollar.  I have always taught you all to follow your passion, enjoy what you do, choose your happy.  Then the money will come and you will be successful...Focusing on greed and power only destroys.  The parental alienation due to this greed and lies is also a horrible propaganda continued by the corrupt courts.  I have found proof and patterns of corruption in the county for at least 10 women now whose hubby's with divorces have screwed their wives out of everything, and most importantly out of raising their children and even being a part of their children's lives.  It is all greed based and not in the best interests of the children to be raised by both parents.  None of us have been deemed unfit mothers and have gone through stressful situations created by our spouses for greed only.  This is well known in the county to make us outcast housewives, on the streets, stripped of our parental rights and against the law.  This is an undisputable form of child abuse, control, manipulation and brainwashing.  It is commonplace today for the bread winning spouse to win all, so they do not have to pay child support.  It is a vengeful retaliation to the targeted abused parent so the one parent is taken out completely. 
Unfortunately, honey, your father is so vengeful and hell bent on destroying me, he will stop at nothing, including a contract out on my life.
Yes, there was an attempted murder on my life and somehow I have now survived death 3 times by his hands.  The next time I may not be saved.  I have been recording everything, texts, emails, blogs, social media, calendars, pictures, drawings, my journals, my friends, my mom, they all know the truth and everything I endured due to his wrath of me not being under his control or listening to him... Really, I am not free to be me????.  I choose to be happy,  I will never find it.  Happiness is within me, and making the best of the situation I am in.  I will control things in my life never ever anyone else -- that is sick and evil.  God has saved me by a weird twist of events now although I am not raising my legacy of my precious daughters and am missing many birthdays, holidays and celebrations due to parental alienation of child abuse.  I am so sorry I was not strong enough to get you all out sooner from such a toxic poison relationship and letting you see such a poor example of how a relationship should never be. 
I trust the goodness and honesty I taught you all will resurface someday and you will be better young adults.  I pray to God everyday you do not turn out to be a greedy, narcissist psychopath.  God can only save you. I will always be your mother forever and ever.  https://www.facebook.com/stoppaschildabuse.org

"Mother"
I am your mother,
Your flesh and blood, your family, yeah
And like no other
Until they bury me 6 foot deep
No matter what the future holds
And even know you just began to grow
Just know you'll always have your mother

The damage is done,
I never wanted things to work out this way
My little ones, how do I say how sorry I am
Some day you'll see the truth
And you'll come running back to me
Just know you'll always have your mother
You'll always have your mother

He lies to you, and
He tries to find
Should be crucified, left to die
He paints an ugly picture of you and I.
It's so far from truth
see only when you hurt me
But my love for you
I am your mother
Please understand why I had to leave
Pain was deep,
He was hurting me,
When you look in the sky at a shining star
Listen to your heart and know who you are
And I'll always be your mother
I'll always be your mother
I'll always be a part of you.
by Lita Ford